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A funeral that belongs to the mourners
The amount of flowers does not decide whether the ceremony was about them. It is enough if the name is said aloud.
A few hours, a long memory
A funeral often arrives before there is time to argue about taste. Those few hours still decide whether the family later says it was about them, or that it was something to get through.
It is not the quantity of flowers that makes it so. It is whether the name is spoken. Whether there is room for the person who wants to talk, and for the person who only wants to sit. A song they listened to. A story that is not a speech. A minute in which nothing happens, and that is allowed too.
If the ceremony stays foreign
The farewell looks for a place later. At the kitchen table, on an anniversary, on a road you used to take together. That is all right. The funeral is not the only occasion. If it can be, let it be the first one where other people also say: this person lived, and now they are missing.
The ceremony belongs to the people saying goodbye. The official order is a frame. What we put inside that frame is what the family has to say. If only one thing fits, let it be the name, said aloud.